Oh, in my recap of Saturday nights gallivanting, I forgot to mention an embarassing, if humorous incident.
Now, via the medium of Facebook, Derek 'Jimmy' Doyle requested that I try and create a “steamy love affair” for the blog. Now when one of the finest men ,of one of the finest debating societies in the world makes such a request, a gent is obligated to acquiesce and try and fulfill such a demand. So, I was in the Spy Bar/Club as I said in the earlier post, and I tried at points to give some ladies some banter. I was having a conversation with one girl and we got onto the subject of food. I was discussing the different types of Korean cuisine I have enjoyed etc, etc. Now in the middle of this polite discourse, the girl states: “In Scotland you must eat a lot of fast food”, leans down and pats my belly.
I'll be honest, I was a little taken back as I tried to formulate a response. I thought about reaching into the Digger Grant dictionary of chat and coming back with: “Well you see love, it does not matter about the size of the nail, when you have a fifteen stone hammer behind it.” (To those that have never met the mercurial Digger, that works far, far more than you would ever believe.) I thought about going for the serious: “Well yes in fact Scotland does suffer from an exceptionally bad diet and our life expectancy is amongst the worst in the developed world.” I pondered all out aggression: “Oh aye, you think so ya rank midden of a skinny whorebag.” Or a mix of the last two: “Yes in Scotland we do have an unhealthy relationship with food, we also have a signifcant problem with knife crime.” Good natured humour: “Well, you know when John Donne said “No man is an Island”, he had never seen me in the swimming pool on a lilo.” In the end, I think I gave a weak smile and went for a shot at the bar.
Now to put this little remark in context, it was not as if this bird was North East Asia's answer to Jessica Alba. In fact in a country full of beautiful women, in a nightclub with a fair share too, she was really nothing special. I mean I really was not batting well out of my league. If I had a gotten a cheeky wee pull, it would hardly be like hitting a boundary, a couple of runs really. I might have met her again, but I would have to already been free, I would not have broken an appointment or anything.
Anyway, we'll see next weekend if I can get any closer to fulfilling Jimmy's request.
Now, via the medium of Facebook, Derek 'Jimmy' Doyle requested that I try and create a “steamy love affair” for the blog. Now when one of the finest men ,of one of the finest debating societies in the world makes such a request, a gent is obligated to acquiesce and try and fulfill such a demand. So, I was in the Spy Bar/Club as I said in the earlier post, and I tried at points to give some ladies some banter. I was having a conversation with one girl and we got onto the subject of food. I was discussing the different types of Korean cuisine I have enjoyed etc, etc. Now in the middle of this polite discourse, the girl states: “In Scotland you must eat a lot of fast food”, leans down and pats my belly.
I'll be honest, I was a little taken back as I tried to formulate a response. I thought about reaching into the Digger Grant dictionary of chat and coming back with: “Well you see love, it does not matter about the size of the nail, when you have a fifteen stone hammer behind it.” (To those that have never met the mercurial Digger, that works far, far more than you would ever believe.) I thought about going for the serious: “Well yes in fact Scotland does suffer from an exceptionally bad diet and our life expectancy is amongst the worst in the developed world.” I pondered all out aggression: “Oh aye, you think so ya rank midden of a skinny whorebag.” Or a mix of the last two: “Yes in Scotland we do have an unhealthy relationship with food, we also have a signifcant problem with knife crime.” Good natured humour: “Well, you know when John Donne said “No man is an Island”, he had never seen me in the swimming pool on a lilo.” In the end, I think I gave a weak smile and went for a shot at the bar.
Now to put this little remark in context, it was not as if this bird was North East Asia's answer to Jessica Alba. In fact in a country full of beautiful women, in a nightclub with a fair share too, she was really nothing special. I mean I really was not batting well out of my league. If I had a gotten a cheeky wee pull, it would hardly be like hitting a boundary, a couple of runs really. I might have met her again, but I would have to already been free, I would not have broken an appointment or anything.
Anyway, we'll see next weekend if I can get any closer to fulfilling Jimmy's request.
posted by Special_K at 12:34 AM
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