I had to visit the immigration office today in order to get a new alien registration card. This would be the third one I have had to pick up and I hope I need no more. As I went to get a new subway pass, a rather odd Gentleman was there in the queue next to me. He was built like a brick shithouse and had a muscular yet spotty physique that suggested he took his cheeseburgers with a side of steroids and a Vanilla and human growth hormone milkshake. He was dressed head to toe in white, specifically white trainers, white cotton trousers, a white tank top and a white bandana. It was trust me as an absurd ensemble as it sounds. He looked like the Bond villian Odd Job auditioning to join a boyband.

Anyway, I got on the subway together and he happened to be on my carriage. I noticed that he seemed to be puckering up and kissing the air. Confused, I glanced over and saw that there was a rather attractive Korean girl sitting across from him. Ah, makes sense now. I was then suddenly shocked by what looked to be a small animal, a hamster perhaps, running around his chest beneath his shirt. How did that get there?

Aha, but no, this was no pesky critter but a far greater horror. Yes, he was engaging in a bit of pec bouncing to try and woo this damsel. Bouncy, bouncy went the chest muscle in the manner of a childrens inflatable castle. Hmmm, things were still not working for the swollen lothario. Then he moved into the final phase and I could feel my stomach lurching as though my Coco Pops might come back to see me again. Slowly his shoulder began to rotate...good god no... his wrist began to rise....please in the name of all that is holy... his bicep ascented.... please Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Oprah Winfrey do something to stop this. But no one came, no deity intervened and the man in white kissed his gun. Yes planted a smacker on the old bicep. Thankfully this happened just as I made my transfer otherwise I think I might have suffered a brain hemorrhage . I left the train with my face contorted into a mask of disgust and disbelief. It was the worst attempt at pulling I think I have ever since. Not even in a nightclub, but in the relative safety and ignominious surroundings of the Seoul subway. Don't take steroids kids.


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This has certainly been the most colourful incident in a dry few days here. I have been both ill and skint, so I have spent time working or just sitting around my apartment. Things have been grey literally as well as figuratively. The sky has been very, very overcast most days so that even in midday the apartment might need some lights on. A standard post holiday slump I suppose, but things do seem especially jaded situated in the midst of this concrete monstropolis. Things seem as grey and as jaded as ever next to the vibrant technicolour buzz of Thailand. Ah well I'll have glasses this week I hope and I get paid on Friday. By this weekend hopefully I should be able to see and get pissed.