This is my first post in a few days. I have bascially been too tired for blogging in the past week. However, I attended the closing ceremony for my job at daewon foreign language high school this morning, and that will be my last morning commitment for a while. More free time should make a positive impact on my form, which has not been stellar as of late. However, the closing ceremony went gave me a big boost.

Firstly, the students had filled in feedback forms, analysing the teachers and how they enjoyed the classes. Now, in ordinary circumstanses, I would consider this both a degrading and damaging exercise, in which individuals are not truly evaluated as teachers, but instead appraised in a cheap popularity contest. However, I got the top rankings so I am willing to make an exception. Now, not for one second do I think the result genuinely makes me a better teacher than my peers at Daewoon. It is just, that as I have indicated both in the blog and in conversations, the feedback to my job performance has not been great. Now most of this has been baseless and inexplicable. It is nevertheless, just heartening for someone, anyone to say that I am doing ok.

I am even going to go crazy and have a couple of cans of Korean lager before bed. Drinking responsibily and not at the pace of the fastest drinker of course...

Latest banter.

They really do not like the Japanese out here. In fairness, Japan did invade, conquer and then brutally run Korea for a number of years. However, can't they just chill out....

It seems not. In fact, evidence would suggest even the younger generation had a deep recepticle of resentment stored up for the Japanese. This morning I was explaining the possible dangers of climate change. I was outlining how a dodgy collapse of the polar ice caps could result in the creation of a tsumani. I jokingly suggested this would give Seoul a beach five minutes, not an hour away. The someone asked if this would destroy Japan. I answered that it certainly might, but I was no expert. This triggeed hysterics and manical glee from even the sweetest denizens fo the classroom. Scary.

In other news, a somewhat drunk elder gent attempted to accost me on the subway. I was not scared of course, it would have been like an old dude like Franco Marrufo trying to start something. He began by prodding me on the chest and drunkenly slurring at me at high volume. The only word I recognised was 'foreigner', which was used repeatedly. Now my Korean is pretty basic, but I did not think he was saying: “Welcome handsome foreigner to my land, I am happy to welcome aman of such charisma and stature to Korea. I hope you are happy here and let me signify this by jabbing you in the chest with my index finger.” It was more like he wanted to do, what Franco will want to do, if he reads the above reference.

In further news, apparently my boss thinks I am stupid. I'll let people give guesses in the comments section as to why. If anyone is reading of course.

Weapons of Mass Destruction.

One of my jobs here involves me teaching at Daewon Foreign Language High School. A pretty prestigous school, that is running an intensive winter camp for prospective students. I am teaching a current affairs class and the issue I am currently looking at is Iraq. So I am explaining the reasons for the war and I go over WMD's.

"What are WMD's?" asks the urbane Scot.
"Weapons of Mass destruction" is the reply.
"Such as" prompts the handsome rogue.
"Nuclear weapons."
"Chemical weapons."
"Farts."

Now the last answer would usually be met with a stern word from most Korean, if not all, teachers. However, this has tickled my funny bone and I start laughing along with the rest of the class. Quickly, I realise I must try and regain some composure. I just can't, the image of Saddam letting one go in Dubya's face is just too funny. Now the class are laughing at my inability to keep my cool and things descend into chaos.

Farts. Comedy Gold...

Bankers.

Yesterday my employers requested that I open a bank account. This ordinarily would not be considered an unreasonable request or troublesome exercise. However, the problem is I had asked about opening account a few times, only to be fobbed off. The problems is you need a passport to open an account and you need to hand in ur passport to get your alien registration card. I had carried out the latter on Friday, so immigration still had my passport. Nevertheless, work asked me to try and open the account with my work id. Basically, a lanyard id thingy, so off I went despite my protestations.

So I go to the bank and suprise, suprise I cannot open the account with an ID. I feel like a twit having gone a fools errand and having Korean bank workers staring at me like the new village idiot. I get back to work and report back that I could not open my accont.

Work say; "Did you not talk to them?"
Me: "Sorry?"
Work say:" You should have talked to them, chatted them around."
Me: Baffled westener grin
Work say: "You are a debater you should have talked them around."

Now despite the fact that the director seemed quite agitated with me and the situation, I could not help but laugh. I mean I'm a mace finallist not Derren Brown. Did they really expect me to give it; "Now this ID malarkey, thats a bit of a false dichotomy now is it not?" "Now what you have to understand about the role of a bank in globalised economy is..." I mean did they actually believe I could talk round bank workers, who hardly spoke english, because I had done a bit of debating? Genuinely, honestly, astonishingly they considered this to be the case...

In attempting to help my students get ready for classes in which quick thing and speaking are not merely helpful but absolutely crucial, I have been using some quick games to get the juices flowing. One of these is the word association game, where one person says a word and someone has to follow up with another word that is associated with it. So, plane - pilot - first officer - ship - sea - wave etc etc. So the game is going fairly well and things are ticking over. Bannana - monkey - Japanese ouch... The Koreans were invaded you see and there is still some underlying resentment. I get the six of them going again, food ham - pig - Japanese. Argh, I think I'm dealing with Korea' answer to Doug Laird and I do not know what to do...

It is Sunday night here. About two in the morning and I can't sleep. Frankly, I am a bit stressed out. Tomorrow I start teaching classes at Daewon Foreign Language High School. It is a very prestigious private school over here and I am not really feeling as prepared as I would like. Too much work. This is basically a job that got sorted when I came here. Technically all the schools are off for winter break. However, the Korean education system does not really give its kids a break. Instead, all the private schools and private academies (hagwons) run these winter camps. So the kids do even more hours to fill the gap and if the kids are in, so are the teachers...

Plenty of hours has been the story since I got here. A lot more work and class preparation than I envisaged, and more frankly than I wanted. Those of you who have recieved a brief e-mail or got some chat on messenger will have heard me complaining. Things are a bit disorganised here. Nae lesson plans and nae materials. So a lot of my free time has been taken up sorting that out. Anyway enough whinging. Let me try and share some of the interesting observations I have made of Seoul so far.

Mountains. Bizarrely Seoul, one of the denselypopulated cities in the world, has been erected around loads of mountains. In fact, my apartment or officetel as it is called is right next to Suraksan mountain. This means tons of hikers are bustling around. Little hiking stalls and shops in the subway sell a range of hiking gear.

Staring. Koreans will stare at you on the subway. Genuinely look at you intensely for uncomfartably long periods. At first I thought I must have sat down next to a semi naked Stuart Dunk to recieve such gazing. Nope. Neither is it my own spongy, yet alluring handsomeness that is the attraction. Foreigners just get stared at for being foreign. At first it is a bit disconcerting, but it is very quickly becoming bloody annoying.

Taxi Drivers. Are fucking difficult. They get pissed off if you get in a cab and they are driving in the opposite direction that you want to travel in. This means a lot of crossing roads to hail taxi's. They are bloody stubborn also. After one senile old geezer started taking me in completely the wrong direction I tried to get him to turn around. No, he was sure he was going in the right direction. Eventually, I got him to pull over an absolute distance away from where I wanted to go. It then took about two hours of subway travel to actually get to work. Leaving both a dented wallet and a reduced day .

So anyway that is some chat for everyone to have a look at. I won't be posting a great amount during January as it is intensive month, but should be getting some stuff up intermittently. Hopefully, I'll have some decent lashing adventures to report in time as well,

Peace out,

Kenny in Korea

Welcome to my blog!!

Rather than pester people with group e-mails, I have decided to maintain this blog to keep interested parties up to date with my misadventures in Korea. I will try and post as regularly as I can and hopefully I can get some entertaining and informaitve stuff up here over time.

Oh and happy new year to one and all!